Sure Your Marriage Is Strong...

But have you ever hung a door together?

There is a show on HGTV called Weekend Warriors, and it is sort of a reality show about people who do their own remodeling. Of course, since do-it-yourselfers generally don't know a whole lot about things like drywall tape, they tend to be...shall we say...interesting to watch. They either laugh at themselves a lot, or they curse their loved ones through the entire show. Either/Or.

I usually do not watch this show. First of all, the ta-dah's sometimes aren't big enough for my taste--you know what I am talking about, right? When a designer pays a surprise visit to a guy living in a one-room shack and does a total overhaul and they have a gigantic Ta-Dah! at the end and now the shack is a cozy 12 bedroom mansion? I'm all about the reveal. Weekend Warriors features people like me, just muddling along, trying to get it over with before they end up strangling someone. The Ta-Dah doesn't have quite the same punch.

Second, the fighting. If you try to remodel something and you don't really know what you are doing, and you are joined by loved ones who also don't know what you (or they) are doing, there are bound to be moments when, well, you think your loved one is an idiot. Or something. And then you open your big fat mouth. You know...

My favorite couples to watch on Weekend Warriors are the gay men, and I'm not trying to strengthen a stereotype here--they are just more fun for me as a viewer. Check this out:

HETEROSEXUAL COUPLE PRE-REMODEL INTERVIEW
Man: Well, we're going to knock out this wall and make more room for a big television, because I've been watching TV on this tiny 35-inch screen for a long time now, and it's getting old.
Woman: We need more room so my family can come and visit and I'd like to get rid of this wall so I can still visit with them while I am here in the kitchen. I haven't left the kitchen in 17 years.
Man: Plus, I need a leather recliner, with a drink holder.

GAY MALE COUPLE PRE-REMODEL INTERVIEW
Man 1: Oh, Gawd, the lighting in here is soooo awful!
Man 2: (Rolls eyes) Terrible! And the storage!
Man 1: Right! There's just no place to put things! So, we're going to do some built-in bookcases with recessed lighting over here, and over there, we'll put some pot lights around the banana and palm trees.
Man 2: It's going to be very dramatic!
Man1: And maybe the built-ins will help {Man 2} keep his things picked up and put away...
Man 2: ME?!?! What about YOU, Mister Messy Pants???

You see? Much more fun.

Enter, my husband and me. A while back, DH decided that we should remodel the basement, and by remodel, I mean, take a gigantic room with no walls, make some walls, add some doors, carpet, wall treatments, etc., and create a usable space so when the children begin to bother us, we can tell them to go watch TV in the basement. It's a dream.

When all of this was first proposed to me, my reaction was, "You're kidding, right?" but I said nothing while the building supplies slowly began to stack up in the basement.

I continued my silence while my husband recruited the children (with promises of payment) to help him fashion 2X4's into walls, or while he literally SHOT those walls into place on the concrete floor with a Remington, or when he handed me my knitting needle summer replacement tools: Dry-wall mud blades.

And?
Have we fought? Of course. And most of the fights involve me telling him that this was all HIS idea, so, why do I have to hold the drywall or staple the insulation when there ar obviously so many things I would rather be doing? Mostly, though, I have truly marveled at the abilities I never knew we had. Like hanging a door, for example.

This is the door for #1 Son's new bedroom.

The husband and I put it up without really wanting to kill each other.

Much.

I would also like to note that this particular door opens and closes easily, the knob works, and the number of curse words used in the installation process was quite reasonable.

Below, you see a wall, where there once was not a wall. You also see a still-messy, gloppy, gooby plaster treatment of said wall, which looks weird, but, you know, if you repeat a thing enough, it will be considered a pattern, and that is pretty much what I am going for here. The stairs will be covered with carpet, or something...

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Behold, The Amazing Curve, with which my husband simultaneously hid a gigantic, ugly-ass post that was right in the middle of the way, and also so impressed his spouse that I now find myself telling everyone I meet that my husband knows how to curve a wall.

Did you get that? I said,

"My husband knows how to curve a wall!"

Thank you.

Here is the hallway. #1 Son's bedroom is through that door, and the future TV area is to the right. We're going to need more plaster...

I have discovered that our Weekend Warrior style is kind of a cross between the gay and the straight couple. I'm more of a brute than most of the women I know, and my hubby is has the distinct disadvantage of living in a house full of women, so, he has resigned himself living at least some of the female experience.

With all the cordial agreement, we are obviously waaaaaaay too boring for Weekend Warriors.

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The heat wave is just starting to break, but the cat-body epidemic continues...

Here we see Action Jackson taking a much-needed nap. On the floor. While hiding his head and shoulders under the coffee table, with the rest of him poking out. Look at those feet!

(It must be a burden being so cute that even your rear-end gets blogged.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a pail of mud...